Home With Hannah

Life is definitely different. Everyone said it would be.

We went to a meet up through The Photographic Life web site yesterday. I actually took this picture with my own little camera! I'm so proud! Of course the staging was all Mary. :)

I am starting to figure out a routine of some sort. I slept with Hannah as much as possible last night. I didn't let the feedings drag on like I have been. When she got up around 7:30, I was considering going down for one more nap. But once I finished her routine (feed, change, pump) I was awake. When I realized she was going back to sleep, I swaddled her up and put her on my bed. I've been working like a mad woman every since. I've done laundry, ate breakfast, cleaned, actually gotten on line.

She should be waking soon for another feeding, but I'm feeling like I can handle it. We may go out for a walk this time.

Life In The Hospital

Monday. Labor Day.

I can see families out on the nearby bike trail. Normally I would be so excited about this day off work. It feels strange for it to be just another day in the hospital. I try to imagine what all of our different friends are out doing today.

Labor Day is for labor. Let's get this show on the road, Hannah. Avoid that surgery!

She is going to be so shocked on Thursday. I don't think she has any plans of leaving me for at least 3 more weeks.

Meghan, RN and Betty, LVN are my nurses today. Meghan is young and very sweet. She tells me about her family drama and she lets me get away with stuff. (ya know - like standing up and stretching my hips or other such crimes against pregnancy) She's the least protective one. Betty is more mature. She takes good care of me and tells me how it is. She has a lot of life experience.


This is my morning routine in antepartum.

1. Wake up around 5 or 6 because I can't stand the bed for one more second.

2. Look on Facebook to see who stayed up late. Hit 'like' on everything of interest so that I get lots of notifications all day.

3. Look in my 3 email boxes to find mostly nothing.

4. Find something on Netflix Instant that might hold my interest for a few minutes.

5. Call in my breakfast order promptly at 7 when they open.

6. Watch the Netflix thing.

7. Get my blood pressure checked and my temperature taken.

8. Have a huge scale rolled into my room and face the daily numbers.

9. Listen to Hannah's heart on a monitor for at least 30 minutes while they record it.

10. Eat breakfast.

11. Get dressed for the day. - For this I am extremely thankful. I don't have to wear a gown and I'm not attached to any tubes or wires.

12. things come to a complete halt. Now I sit. I repeat # 2-4 a lot.


I don't turn on the TV because:

1. I am spoiled to my DVR. I really have no tolerance for the commercials.

2. I can't control the volume from my bed. The nurse who admitted me informed me it was broken and then adjusted it for me manually. If I want it different now, I have to ask someone to do it. Not worth it.

3. I can't type in a channel number. I have to click past every channel to get to what I want. There are 40 channels.

4. It gives me a headache and makes me feel un-alive. Like a zombie.

5. There is NOTHING worth watching.

I mostly do the following:

1. Sit and think.

2. Listen to my music on the laptop.

3. Look at the tower across from mine and try to guess why those people are in the hospital.

4. Wonder who will come today and at what time.

5. Listen to the second hand on the clock in my room.

6. Read.

7. Cry occasionally - due to hormones. (My doctor said the crying is very normal and that I should watch The Color Purple and just get it all out. Maybe today.)

8. Pray. For Hannah's health and mine. Mostly I worry about Down's Syndrome. We didn't test for it.

9. Run through various escape plans in my head.


The best thing is when people stop by to see me. I think this is because I'm not exactly sick. I'm just at risk of becoming gravely ill on a seconds notice. I don't need to "get my rest" or any such thing.

I like visitors. I like it when they come for about 30 minutes to an hour. They tell me about life outside of here and I tell them what I ordered for lunch. Then we think excitedly about Hannah's arrival and then they go. And this makes me feel happy and normal for about 2 more hours of my day. It's like getting a happy shot!

The nurses check my blood pressure and temperature every four hours. This breaks up the rest of the day somewhat.

Bruce comes in the evenings. He takes me on my wheelchair outing and then we sit in the room like we're home on the couch. We watch a movie or talk or both. It's probably the best part of every day because I almost feel like I'm home.

I think God is teaching me a lot through all of this.

1. How to let people do things for me. This is a big one. Small things or big things - saying yes to offers was already hard enough. I've now learned to actually ask people to do things.

2. Quietness is good. Time without any distractions. Time to sit and reflect and maybe even create. We live in a society of constant input. We're bored without it. Time to process all that input is rare. It has actually been a blessing.

3. People in the hospital feel caged and isolated. I am going to become a person who visits people in the hospital. I will go prepared with a funny story and an encouraging word. I will ask what the nurses are like and what they had for lunch. I will leave when the conversation dies and they start to feel the need to entertain me. I will encourage other friends of this person to do the same.

4. Husbands can take care of things. I do not have to be super woman. I can let Bruce do things. Heck - I can even ask him to do things! They actually like this. It's how they best show love.

5. God is in control. I am not. And trusting Him is the most peaceful thing I can do right now.

Bed Rest Day 26

I've been in the hospital for 6 days now. I feel perfectly fine, am not attached to any tubes or machines, and would desperately love to go for a run. However, I am supposed to remain in the bed all day with occasional trips to the bathroom or the recliner chair in my room.

This is extremely mentally challenging. I am thankful to feel so healthy, but I think it might be easier to stay here if I felt somehow sick.

I had my first thoughts of escape today. I thought, "I could just get up and walk out of here. I'm not under arrest. This is a free country, right?"

Today is also the longest I've gone without seeing anyone. Even with my home bed rest, I saw Bruce for several hours a day and through the night. He left at 8:30 last night and I haven't seen anyone but my friendly nurses since.

It's a lot harder today. It makes me even more grateful for all the visitors and phone calls I have had since I got here. The nurse says there are ladies here for months and no one comes to see them. Can you imagine?

I am truly blessed, that's for sure.

And don't start to feel pity for me because I'm alone today. I have someone coming around 5 and Bruce will be here tonight. Like I said. I'm truly blessed.

Pool Drama

I do not think I'm asking too much. We pay extra to live right by the pool. I'm allowed to walk 20 steps to get in and relax for an hour a day.

The pool is locked. Again. I put on my swimsuit and trekked my 8.5 month pregnant, bed-rested self over there and realized the padlocks were back on the gate.

This pool that is so conveniently in our back yard has been locked for 90% of August. One of the hottest Augusts on record. And my 8th month of pregnancy. And my last month of summer break.

It might be the hormones, but I'm feeling pretty peeved right now. I guess I'll watch Dr. Phil in my swimsuit.

35 Weeks and 5 Days

Had a sonogram today to check amniotic fluid and breathing practice. She's too big for a good picture, but it's still cool to see her. The best part is at the end when we watch her practice her breathing. So if you're easily bored, scroll to the last minute. ( about 2:50)



My blood pressure is still holding in the "elevated" range. And we did a non-stress test today. This consists of me laying on my back with a monitor strapped to my tummy for 30 minutes. They do a print out of her heart rate and any contractions I might have. I also click a button every time I feel her move.

This test went very well. She did all the things she was supposed to do. Doc said she showed every sign of a happy, healthy baby.

She got a face shot for me to take home. It's hard to see, and it's really skeletal. We think that's a foot next to her cheek, but who knows?

Bed Rest - Day 10

Today started off rough. The kitchen was starting to need attention and my sweet husband had to get to work early. I was trying to figure out how to not clean the kitchen today. I didn't say anything because my hubby is a sweet gem and has taken care of everything for the last week and a half.

Then, before he walked out the door, he stopped in the kitchen and cleaned it. (I told you he's a gem.) So I stood watching for a minute and then went to sit on the couch (prison) and cried. So sweet, sweet hubby had to take care of house chores and watch his wife cry while he did it.

Bed rest is not for sissies.

He consoled me and then suggested that I call my sisters and visit. About 20 minutes later, one of them called me on her way to an appointment. We chatted for a while and she really lifted my spirits just by being herself.

Then I looked at my work email and someone had actually written me back! I cried a relieved tear about this and read every word two or three times. I have been very stressed about my lack of control over work. The opening days of school are so important and I am having to miss it. This was not in my plan!

After that I called the other sister to find out about her job interview. This also helped my attitude.

And while I was on the phone with her, my supervisor called me! We discussed my sub and some of the opening week info that I missed. It was a short conversation, but made me feel a thousand times better.

I even got to speak to my sub this afternoon while she and some others were setting up my room. Boy do I feel better now!

God has really taken care of my spirit today. I found myself thanking and praising out loud on several occasions. It is amazing how He can meet me wherever I am in a given situation.


On another note, I tried to go float in the pool this afternoon, only to find it locked again. Grrr. But I did shoot a 35 week pregnant picture because the swim suit emphasizes the baby belly so well.

Ball Game In 103° Heat

After an enjoyable August evening at the Rough Riders game, I am currently thankful for:

1. A husband who fetches ice water on an as-needed basis

2. A sweet baby who dances to ball park music in my tummy

3. Air conditioning

4. Showers

5. Air conditioning

Making Tamales with the Family

Dad's Birthday

Spent the day out a Lake Texoma with the family. Dad celebrated his 64th today. Forgot to take any pictures, but a great time was had by all.