Movie Etiquette Gone Wrong

We went to see Angels & Demons at the twilight showing Saturday. It's only $4.50. Big bargain. Good movie.

About 15 minutes into the movie, an older couple found the two seats on the end right next to me. The lady held a nested pair of plastic grocery sacks as if they were a purse. She also used a cane, and the bags brushed against it as she moved. swish, swish, swish...

As they settled in, the lady rested the grocery sacks in her lap and stuck her hands inside. She then proceeded to straighten the inner sack so that it perfectly fit inside the outer one. This took a good deal a time since she was distracted from her task by the movie. swish, scrunch, swish, crinkle, crunch...

For the full effect, you should go get a couple of plastic grocery bags from the pantry and put one inside the other. Then stick your hands in there and start moving them around.

When the straightening was done, I glanced at her, gave a smile, then glanced at her sacks and back at her. I thought I had communicated clearly.

She smiled at me and stuck her hands back in the inner sack. This time, she was unwrapping the food she had smuggled in. It was a tuna sandwich. Not in a sandwich bag, but wrapped tightly in cellophane. She was obviously concerned about getting caught with the smuggled food, so she took her time unwrapping the sandwich. crinkle, crinkle, swish, crinkle, scrunch...

As she unwrapped a little sandwich, she would stealthily pull it to her mouth, plastic bags, cellophane and all, to sneak a bite. At this point, it was not only the sound of the bags and the wrapper, but the overpowering smell of the tuna fish. I kept giving her the polite smiles and bouncing glances, but she was oblivious.

Eventually, she finished the sandwich and very carefully straightened and folded her cellophane. Her hands were in the plastic bags the whole time. I thought my torture was over, but no. She then reached further into the bags and popped the lid on a Gladware container. She pulled out a spoon (a real one from home) and proceeded to eat her dessert! All the while with her hands in the bag!

At last she finished the dessert and pulled her hands from the sack. She got up from her seat and left. I assume she went to the restroom, but she never came back. The movie had about 25 minutes left. The husband stayed until the last 5 minutes, then went to look for her.

Bruce watched the entire movie oblivious to any of this. He says he didn't realize anyone sat next to me. I demonstrated the noise for him while he was watching TV. He was ready to choke me after about 45 seconds.